Get in Bed!

So it starts again. We're trying to break Kaden of yet another bad habit. Remember when I said Kaden asked me to lay down with him and I did...several times? Well for the past 2 nights I've been trying to break this habit. The first night was okay. Last night...ahhhh!!! I think he was up 30 times. So, here we go again.

Oh yeah and Reagan went to the doctor yesterday morning. I drove from Spring to Kingwood and was there when they opened so I could beg for them to see us. I had to be back in time to take Wade to MDA. Luckily they made some calls and took us right back! She has pink eye and a sinus infection. Lovely! Her eyes are so yucky. Although, this morning when she woke up, they were much better. I could get very descriptive but I won't gross you out. She's ran a fever off and on for the last 2 days. Hopefully it won't come back today! Yesterday it got up to 102.5. I dropped her off at Sharon's house when we were done at the doctor and then picked up Wade to go the hospital. I wasn't able to get to her until around 5:00. It was killing me! But, she's doing much better.

Hopefully tonight will go smoothly for both! Well all of us if you include me and Wade too!

Mays Clinic

Today we're at the Mays Clinic at MD Anderson. It's really no different from the main building...just newer. You have to take a sky bridge across in a little golf cart like trolley thing. You could walk it and matter of fact, when it was first built Wade and I thought we could walk it no problem. It was a lot longer than you'd think. One night Wade and his mom were here late and the carts were closed. Therefore they had to walk. Nice!! It would be a nice place to walk for those of you who choose to walk during your lunch break.

Anyway, this building has 2 floor for patients doing chemo. It's just like a hospital room...bed and all. It is also the place where many breast cancer patients come. Today was the first time I had been to the place where you give blood. It was much nicer and calmer. That is one thing they strive for here...some type of peace and tranquility with dim lights and comfy chairs (though I think they took all the comfy chairs for the waiting rooms and left horrible chairs in the rooms...but not complaining). So there are many more women in this building. They are all so very different. Some with beautiful wigs, hats, bandannas and even some that shield their entire bodies because of religious beliefs or customs. So, so many women and again all so different. Many come with girlfriends, sisters and the ones you see the most are their husbands. It always makes me sad. More today than ever. Something about today just got me going. I kept tearing up and thinking about what their stories must be. I can only imagine. Some are wore down. Others appear upbeat. One man was talking to a doctor when his wife walked out visibly upset. She had been crying. Makes me wonder if she just got some bad news.

It just plain sucks to see all of these people struggling to live. Where all of these people can seem so different in so many ways, they are are similar and all here for the same reason. To live. And the sisters, daughters, friends, husbands, and wives...they're living it too. They are the cheerleaders and support group who fight to stay upbeat and optimistic with a constant smile on the face no matter what. I just can't help but always wonder the story for all. I can't help but cry inside when I see babies fighting for life. I can't help but feel pain for all of the people who limp in pain, who carry an oxygen tank for breath and who fight for all they have. I can't help but smile at each one that passes me or sits next to me. I can't help but think these people, including my husband, are the strongest people I know. They are my heroes in so many ways. Heroes I don't even know.

Take Advantage of the Highs...Roll with the Lows

First thing's first...Wade went to the doctor yesterday after doing all of his tests. Good news came back. The two tumors in his lungs have stopped growing. Of course we can only hope that these spots will die off. There are no new spots which is even better news. We pray the chemo is killing the tumors as well as anything new that could possibly come up. Today Wade starts round 3. We are at the hopspital now as I type. I know he dreads starting over, but I keep reminding him this is all worth it.

Starting over is hard for us all. It feels like we're on this rollercoaster of life. The Friday Wade begins chemo, he is pretty much out of it for exactly one week and two days. The Sunday after next is typically the day he becomes more like himself. It is a day I love because I know in the next 2 weeks, he will start feeling better with every passing day. I love these days because this is the time we take full advantage of him feeling good. It's like a strange magical feeling to me and this is so hard to explain. I feel so close to him and I just LOVE watching him with the kids. By the way, Kaden started calling Wade, "Dad". It's so funny but I know so sad too. It makes us think he's growing up. I'm not really sure where he picked it up, but listening to him say it is halarious. You'd have to actually hear it to understand the halarity.

Last night Wade and I went to the movies together to see What Happens in Vegas, which by the way we LOVED! We ended up getting some PF Changs to go and walked to the book store across the road. It was just so nice and relaxing. Of course we missed the kiddos. It feels like forever since we've done something like that. I guess with the known fact of him starting the next day in the back of our minds, it made it just that much better. We just enjoyed each other.

Coming home to Kaden (who was still awake) made it all complete. Well and Reagan too. She was just sound asleep with that little thumb in her mouth. We bought Kaden a couple of books that he really enjoyed. So it was great to sit down and read with him. Wade and I then laid down with Kaden (I know...still a bad habit!). I love this time because we talk a lot about the day and just about silly things. Then he falls asleep and I do too (even as Wade is kicking my feet to let me know I'm snoring).

It's just the little things that make eveything so big and wonderful. I think people truly should take more time to enjoy the little things in life.

One last thing...I don't recall if I said Reagan is walking. She is REALLY walking. No up and down (well, sometimes when she falls). She mostly walks everywhere she goes. She looks like she's been doing it for months. It's amazing to me how fast they learn to do things like that and why they ever decide in the first place that it is the right time. Crazy little things.

Over the next few days I will continue to provide updates on Wade. Thanks again and again for all of the thoughts and prayers.

Shots :(

Reagan went in for her year check up (I know...a few weeks late!). She looked adorable and they thought she was the cutest thing. Somebody said she looked like Cindy Lou Who with her hair in her bow. She weighed in at 22 lbs 8 oz and is 29 inches long. She's growing up! She was happy and content until the dreaded shots. She got 3 of them. One of them is the MMR which is the shot that many people think cause Autism. I've already had this talk with our doctor when Kaden got the shot. She is a firm believer, with years and years of research, that this shot does NOT cause Autism. It just so happens that when these kids get the shot, it is the same time that many children are developing many new skills (linguistically, socially, emotionally, etc.). So, many people mistake them not developing "normally" with the shot. I asked, "Shouldn't I be able to tell NOW if Reagan were to have Autism?" Her response was basically yes because she wouldn't be reaching for strangers like she did with the doctor and talking to them like she does. She did say that many people argue the vaccination has thimerosal (ethylmercury) and this is the link to autism. However, this has be removed from the vaccination. Now, I'm not writing this to start some debate. I trust my doctor and am confident that she would not lead me to something that would harm my babies. I am not the one to decide whether or not MMR causes pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), such as autism and Asperger syndrome. Like I said, I trust my doctor and even more, I trust the Lord and know it is all in His hands.

So, now, back to Reagan. She cried right away and by the 3rd shot, she was screaming. When I picked her up to comfort her, her thumb went straight to her mouth and her head was on my shoulder. Poor baby. I don't care how many times you go through this, it never gets easier. I hate seeing my babies hurt. After the shots, she did great. She had a wonderful day with mommy. It was just me and her. We even had a lovely experience in my car. When I was leaving the doctor, I put the car in reverse. Now my car is 10 years old. She has been wonderful to me. I am so thankful that my dad bought it for me and I've never made a payment on it. It's been nice! However, she's starting to struggle. Some days it takes a few times to get her started. I usually just have problems getting it started and that's it. Not today though. It died when I was backing up. My first reaction of course is to panic. I immediately have a million thoughts running through my head. Some of these thoughts were: Who am I going to call to come get us? I'm going to have to call Wade. It will take him forever to get to us. My car is stuck here in the aisle and I'm going to get ran over. I'll put this into neutral and "cruise" back to my spot (this requires pushing and there's no way!). It's so hot outside and I may possibly melt. How embarrassing is this? Seriously, I'm sure there were a million more things. This was within maybe 15 seconds. So I took a deep breath, put the car back into park and started her back up. We were then on our merry way. Wade always tells me I panic too soon. I guess this was the case!

Well, I meant for this to be a quick 5 minute blog and it has now turned into a ridiculous amount of babble. Oh well. So, my short story was "Reagan got her shots today". It just expanded a little much! :)

Big Girl Car Seat

Well, finally...our little girl rode in her big girl car seat for the first time today. Wade and I splurged and bought two car seats for both of our cars. She loved it!

Summer...What Summer?

You know, if I hear somebody say, "must be nice...teachers get off for 3 months", I just might punch them in the face. Seriously...first of all, my last day of work was June 4. I have a workshop tomorrow and Thursday and 3 days next week. I have to go at least 3 days in July and several days in August. Not to mention we go back the week before the kids come back. So, really, we have maybe a good 4 or 5 weeks solid with no interuption. That means not hearing anything at all about work. Even today I get a phone call from work about one of my students that I filled out summer school paperwork for. For some reason or another this girl went to summer school where they told her she could not go because she did not register and they had no paper work for her. All that work I did to get her paperwork in and then THEY LOSE it? Come on now. So I hope my principals were able to find it in my room. I know they were worrried about it.

So anyways, back to what I saying...we don't get much time off. Yes I know...having Christmas break off, Spring break off and the occasional random holiday off is nice. But let me tell you something. If teachers didn't get this break, our kids would be in big trouble. The monster would come out in all of us. I wish any normal person could come into the classroom for one solid week and teach my class. Just one week. I promise you that you will see that our breaks are well earned and well NEEDED!!!! You know the few weeks we get.

Cuddle Me!

Okay, so we've developed a new bad habit. We've been staying with Wade's parents since Wade started his second round of chemo. We'll probably be going home this week at some point. Anyway, the first night we stayed here, it took Kaden forever to go to sleep. It was so late when he'd finally go down. So one night I told him I'd lay down with him. Granted, I know this a bad habit but my gosh I love it. When I'm laying there he whispers, "Cuddle me momma". Now there's a certain way he has to be cuddled. My arm has to be in just the right spot. I know when he's about to fall asleep because he starts whispering more to me saying, "I cuddle you momma". He then starts to play with my hair and rub my arm and face. He's so cute. Every once in a while we hear the occasional "choo choo twain" and we get super excited.

Now I know this has to stop because it is such a bad habit. I only stay until he falls asleep, but still...bad habit! However, I've heard a million times lately, "Enjoy them when they're little. It goes by so fast and you'll want it back". So dang it...let me enjoy it while I can!

One more thing off topic...my baby brother Casey graduated Friday! It's so hard to believe. He's all grown up! Way to go Casey. We're so proud of you.

Oh and Wade..he's coming around. He got unhooked from his backpack on Wednesday. The next few days were pretty rough for him. He had a really good day today though and was spending some quality time with the kiddos. That's how I know he's starting to feel a little better. The only bad thing is that he's starting to get the bone pain. But, he's doing much, much better.

Last Day!

Well, my kids are officially gone! I don't look at this as a relief from them but more of a relief from everyday life. It's time for a little break. It is going to be much easier on me and anybody else who has to take off of work to take care of Wade. I'm so ready to be there with him every step of the way. I was before but having to go to work was keeping me from doing all that I wanted to do. So, after my last work day tomorrow, I am officially on summer break!

The people from my work gave me an "Always Smiling Award". It was extremely nice and emotional. They even collected money for our family. I haven't even opened the card because I promised Wade I would wait for him. Whatever it is, just the thought was more than I could have ever imagined. I work with such amazing people. They have been there for the many adventures of my life. I mean, really, I have yet to have a normal year at work. But come on, is there really such a thing as normal? My first year I graduated, got married, and became pregnant. My second year, I had Kaden. My third year, I was pregnant ALL year, had kidney stones horribly bad, found out Wade had cancer again, went through surgery to remove kidney stones and surgery for Wade but then welcomed our sweet baby girl the day after school was out. And well there's this year...we know how that one's gone. But now, I will fight for a more normal year next year.

I have to say, Wade and I have been through more in 3 1/2 years than most people ever even experience in a lifetime. And to us, it's been a rough ride but we appreciate each other so much. We don't take things for granted. The bond we have is super strong and though we have these bumps in the road, it has only made us stronger. Our life is incredible and I wouldn't change it for anything.

Okay, I'm rambling. I'm excited tomorrow is my last official day with adults only. Well, other than I decided to take my kiddos and show them off.

Wade's doing great, even if he denies it. He looks great and he sounds wonderful. Of course he's extremely tired and just give out, but he's so incredibly strong. He's awesome. Tomorrow he gets unhooked from his bag. Usually after that it's all uphill.

Pictures

Here are a few pictures from Reagan's First Birthday!

*Make sure you check out the beach pictures I added to the May 9th blog.

Yummy! Kaden couldn't resist.

That was hard work!!!