I'm not usually one to brag, but there's a picture of me with my limo bus friends on the Humble ISD website! Pretty cool!!!! I'm not sure how long it will stay up, but go ahead and check it out.
http://www.humble.k12.tx.us/humbleisd/site/default.asp
Today was a wonderful day. I was picked up from school today at 10:00 in a limo bus. We drove around picking up about 7 other teachers and headed to the civic center for a lunch given by the Lake Houston Area Chamber of Commerce for Teachers of the Year. We all laughed about how it felt like we were being pampered. My principal joined me at lunch to support me. She rocks! We had our pictures made, were given a little award with our names on them along with a few roses and a certificate. Then we were on our way back to our schools (after lunch of course!). I was the first one on and the last one off!! My kids and all of kindergarten came out to see me off. When I returned, they had all gone home for the day. They were so sweet.
Reagan had dance tonight and it was her first night for tap. She loved the tap sound her shoes made. After about 10 minutes of it I started to feel sorry for her dance teacher who had to listen to about 20 tap shoes all at once! Yikes!!!! She did great though. After tap, they practiced for their winter dance recital. It is ADORABLE!!
And the best news of all...Wade gets to come home TOMORROW! He originally thought it would be Thursday so coming home one day earlier lifted his spirits and our spirits. We can't wait to see him!!! Perfect ending to a great day!
So it's just been one of those days. It really started with yesterday. I had a terrible stomach ache (due to some horrible Chinese-which by the way I just started really liking!!!). I went to the hospital and just saw horribly sad things. You know, things like people crying in the hallways and I suspect saying their last goodbyes. I cried all the way up the elevator, but once I got to Wade's hall I sucked it up and put on a happy face. I don't talk much about what we're, well mostly what I'm going through. I know Wade is miserable and he hates every second that he's doing chemo. For me, I don't tell him much about what I feel because I don't want him to feel worse than he already feels. It kills me when he apologizes for making me deal with the things I deal with. It's not his fault. It's what it is and I learn to adjust to it. But I'm allowed to have bad days right???? I first wanted to do this blog so that I could vent and get things off my chest. So this is what I'm doing. I'm just releasing some emotions and thoughts.
Yes I think it sucks that we have to deal with this crappy situation. Yes we had a great summer and yes we enjoyed our holidays last year. But who wants to live their life month by month saying, "Oh this month was a good month?" It just sucks. It sucks that Wade has to be away from the kids and that the kids miss their dad more than words can explain. I hate pulling into the driveway seeing Wade's car and hearing the kids yell, "Daddy's home!" I hate sleeping by myself and I hate not being with my best friend everyday. I have conversations with him in my head all day because I know it's not easy for him to be on the phone. I hate that while Wade is going through all of these treatments, we don't get paid. We rely completely on my salary which feels like nothing when you have tons of bills piling up. I hate that Wade feels like a burden and like he's not a good husband because he's unable to provide for his family. I just hate when I have days like these.
So, now's the time when I take a deep breath, look at my babies, suck it up and move on. Time doesn't stand still. All I can do is pray with all I have. I do know the devil is working overtime on me on days like today. So now I pray, pray, pray and let that devil know who's boss! I realize more than anything how blessed we are to have such amazing friends and family who would do absolutely anything for us. And yes, more than anything, I've gotten pretty good at taking advantage of the good days we have in between treatments, whether that be during the summer or during the holidays. That's one thing I know we're good at. We're awesome at loving one another and our family and more than anything we rock at enjoying the good days! And I know there are people out there who have it way worse than I could ever imagine. Things could be worse. So, now I pray and get over this little pity party I throw for myself. I'm already starting to feel better. It feels good to get things off my chest. I'm getting good at doing that lately too! I'm allowed to have a bad day every once in a while, right?!?!
I just love my job!! These kids make me laugh on a daily basis. Recently I was proposed to, had my shoulders rubbed, and was told that I was going to be a princess for Halloween (by a boy who I believe is a little smitten with me!). These kids are so innocent and so sweet! They can also be brutally honest. For example, when I was drawing a picture of me the other day, I asked them what color I should color my hair and one boy yells, "Gray!!!" Ahhh, gray!?!?! I know I have a few gray hairs, but come on, enough for them to tell me to color my hair gray???? They never fail to ask you what that big thing on your face is or why you always wear black pants. But the days they tell you they love you and that you are beautiful far outweigh the days they are picking out your imperfections. It's those days that you need those compliments the most. It's those days that they can turn a perfectly crappy day into something so much more! It's those days that you want to just wrap them in your arms and hope and pray that when they go home they will be loved as much I love them and even more. Praying is all I can do to make myself be okay with what so many kids face at home. But for me, they are my happy place. They bring normal into my life. They are my stress relief! So while they are with me, I treat them as if they were my own. I love them and hug them and tell them they are special. And in return, I get hugs, smiles and funny stories that never fail to make me giggle! Did I mention I love my job?
This past weekend we spent some time at New Braunfels. This was the last weekend before Wade went back in the hospital so we wanted to enjoy ourselves. And that we did! My parents, brother and his family, grandparents and my aunt and her family were all there. We really had a good time! Sunday the kids were able to ride some rapids on the river. It was perfect for them. Then we found this little waterfall that runs into the Guadalupe River. We put our chairs at the bottom of the little waterfall and relaxed there most of the day. Reagan fell asleep in her tube and Kaden was fishing with Wade, my dad and my brother. Kaden had a blast throwing rocks. This was his thing. Give that boy dirt or rocks and he's good to go. When we went back to the house, we had a lightning bug show! It was amazing!!! I don't even remember the last time I saw one lighting bug much less hundreds of them! It was a day of firsts. The kids first time at the river and first time seeing lightning bugs. Reagan was a tad bit scared of them and well Kaden, he just wanted to smash them. For Wade and I, we were in awe. There was something so magical about them.
The fun must end though and we headed back Monday...back to reality. Tuesday Wade went back in the hospital. The kids already miss him like crazy. I do too!! I went up there yesterday. He's doing pretty good...though he will say, "I feel like poo poo!" He's pretty tough though. He should be getting out next Thursday. Seems like a lifetime away!
I'm not sure why I take so long to update on here. Well, I take that back. I get behind and then it gives me a little anxiety to think of all of the things I wanted to post and how it's taken me so long to post them. I have some amazing pictures that I want to share and I just get lazy. There is nothing more I want to do than post pictures of my beautiful family and all of the exciting things we do. So that's what I'm going to do. I will be posting pictures from random events. And just to give a little update on Wade. He just finished his 20th treatment of chemo. It's hard to believe he's had that many treatments. He's really doing good. We have not gotten an update just yet. He will have to do one more treatment before they do the CT scans, MRIs, etc. We had an amazing summer and received even better news over the summer. When we were prepared for Wade to go in to do more chemo (after 2 months of no chemo), his tests showed that ALL of the tumors were shrinking. There's always been one that grows and the others are just there to be annoying. The smaller ones have NEVER shrunk (is this even a word!?!?). But this time they did!!! We literally had already made plans for Wade to go to the hospital and then we got this news. We couldn't have been more thrilled. Plus, a couple of months ago, the bigger tumor grew and he WAS doing chemo. So to hear that ALL tumors were shrinking WITHOUT chemo was a miracle.
When he went in September 1st, they found that the largest tumor grew just a tad. The doctor said that chemo is the best thing in order to stay on top of it. We definitely don't want things to get out of control. Wade started his 20th round started September 15th. To me, he did better than he EVER has. He was in the hospital for 9 days. A lot of people always ask why he stays in the hospital when he does chemo. Most people go in, get the chemo drugs and then go home. For Wade, that has always been too hard. His drugs are extremely powerful and they cause him to become extremely toxic (hallucinating, strange dreams, etc.). He also has what they call steroid induced diabetes. When he is doing chemo, he is given insulin to keep his sugar down. It spikes really high if not. When he is home, not doing chemo, he does not need the insulin at all. So this is why he stays. It is EXTREMELY hard on everybody, especially the kids (and Wade more of course). But it is what's best for him and that's what matters.
The 1st day he was out, he told me, "I feel like I haven't even done chemo!". I could even tell that he was doing better than ever. When I visited him the last day in the hospital, he was awake the entire time and even got up to walk around. Usually he stays in bed and hardly says a word. A couple of days of being out of the hospital the chemo caught up to him. He was very tired and slept quite a bit. Come to find out, his phosphorus and sodium bicarbonate were real low. They gave him some medicine and it's getting a little better. Overall, he's doing great! I'm so very proud of him. Even with these few setbacks, to me, he's doing better than he ever has. He will be starting more chemo October 12th. We are so very blessed to have so many people who are praying for Wade. So many people ask me how he's doing on a daily basis and it truly means the world to us that so many people care for him and our family. We coudln't do this without our friends, family and of course our Lord and Savior.
Don't forget to come back and check out the pictures...I will post soon. I'm going to get out first and enjoy this BEAUTIFUL weather with my amazing babies!
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