Every Second

We went to the beach this past weekend. I thought it would be a nice little getaway. It was nice, don't get me wrong, and the kids had a blast, but it just wasn't the same. I can't help but think about you every second of every day. We stayed at the Hilton (thanks Jeff and Kahla) and it reminded me of you. The last time we stayed in Galveston, we stayed there. You were there for work and me and the kids came up late one night to surprise you. You were so happy that we were there. It was right before you went to the doctor in July to hear the dreaded news. Siting on the beach is so relaxing. Almost too relaxing. I couldn't stop thinking of you. I couldn't stop but think about how we used to always say, "One day we will be able to sit on the beach, just me and you and not have to worry about watching the kids. It will be so nice to enjoy peace, quiet and the crashing of the waves". You know how much I love the beach and though I know you didn't love it as much as me, you loved going to be with the kids. You were always coming up with a way to make it fun. Remember the homemade shower? That thing was awesome! You were always so handy! The kids missed you and kept talking about you. Reagan cried on the way home saying how much she missed you!

When we went swimming on the last night we were there, I saw a big, blue Freeman box. They were having some type of presentation there and your work must have been doing the sound. I couldn't help but think you could have been the one to set that up and we could have been there together...again.

As I drove by the Commodore, I couldn't help but laugh about how you always told me the same story of throwing the beers down from the balcony into the pool. Every single time we went by there, you'd tell me the same exact story. It always started like, "This one time, we stayed there (pointing to the hotel as we passed) and..." Eventually it became a little inside joke as we'd pass you'd say, "Have I ever told you about the time..." and I would reply with, "No, really? What happened? I've never heard that story before." I'd do anything to hear that story again.

Listening to the radio is brutal. Every song reminds me of you. Better than Ezra came on and it made me happy to think of the good times we had going to see them, and then it made me so sad. There isn't one single minute that goes by that I don't think of you. It's so very painful. As many people as I have around me who love and care for me, they will never ever fill the void I feel. You know me better than anybody and I miss my best friend. I miss you so much! I wish you were here! I love you today...