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Please forgive me for a late update. I actually typed everything in an email the day he came home and went to spell check it. When I did, it froze and all that I wrote was completely gone. It took a long time to write it and the thought of having to do it all over again was killing me. So, I'm going to give it another go...

Wade came home from the hospital Thursday afternoon. He was ready to get home and the kids were even happier to see their daddy. Kaden ran to him and Wade picked him up. Kaden kept saying, "Daddy" over and over and then said, "You went to the doctor? You got better?" So cute. Reagan of course gave her daddy a huge "Reagan smile".

This round of chemo seemed to be much easier on Wade. They were constantly there to make sure he was okay. The only big problem was that starting the 3rd day of him doing his chemo drugs, his blood sugar became "critically high" which means it was above 500. Because of this they were constantly giving him insulin to bring it back down. They said the cause was probably from one of the steroid drugs they give him. It is the best drug to keep him from getting nauseous. It apparently does this to a lot of people. It was a struggle to get this under control. Now in the past, on the last day, Wade's heart rate would beat close to 125 and he felt this caused him to be extremely uncomfortable and exhausted. He said he thought he felt better this time and maybe it was because they were able to get it under control.

They sent him home with a glucose monitor and he is having to keep a close eye on his sugar. He has seen a endocrinologist once and will go back Wednesday to see her again. She said a lot of times taking these drugs can push you over the edge and you could become Diabetic. I'm sure Wade is borderline with it running in his family, but this does not help. The doctor said we had to wait several days for the steroid to get completely out of his system in order for his sugar to get regulated. So, we will see. Because of his sugar being out of control this time, they will probably admit him the next two times. Of course I hate him being away and he misses the kids tremendously, but if it means he will feel better, then it is all worth it.

And strangely, this time he did not get bone pain. He usually gets this on Sunday. It is from the neulasta shot. He said he felt weird not having it, but I reassured him that it is a good thing, not to doubt it, and that his prayers are being answered. More to come in the next few weeks!

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You know, there is nothing that hurts me more than sitting in the hospital room with Wade and watching him have to struggle to overcome all the pain that comes with chemo. But then as I am walking to the parking garage across the street from MDA, I see a man in a wheelchair hooked up to the machines with many chemo bags. Then, he coughs as he blows out the smoke from the cigarette he's smoking. Ugh...it was like a slap in the face. Here Wade is upstairs exhausted with cancer in his lungs and has NEVER smoked a cigarette a day of his life and this man is smoking his cigarettes. My first question is why even do chemo? Why try to fix one thing when it could cause more damage in the long run? As I tell this to Wade, he tells me I don't know his story. Maybe he has no chance of surviving and why not have one last smoke? I don't really know. But I do know that it is not my place to judge. Though I cringe when I see people smoking and many times get very angry, it still not place to judge and I have to realize that. I'm working on it.

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One day Wade and I walked out of the room to go for a walk and this man in his room down the hall yells to Wade, "Hey, what happened to all of your hair?" Of course Wade laughs knowing the same has happened to this man and walks closer to his room. He's sitting on his bed and his wife is standing next to him. It looked as if maybe he was about to be discharged. The question you may hear around MDA is, "So, what are you in for?" It sounds like something you'd say in prison I know. So his story is he has bone cancer and has been fighting it for 30 years. It has come back 8 times. He was telling Wade MDA is the best place to be and it is where he has been from the start. He said his cancer has come back 8 times now. His wife tells us that every time the time in between gets shorter. This last time he was cancer free for 18 months. But they were both so optimistic and full of faith. She said, "You know, I tell him, you must be needed here on earth to do great things and when the time comes, He just needs you more than we do down here." Sad I know, but they both were smiling ear to ear. You can't help but feel relief when you hear stories like theirs. I mean 30 years. That's amazing! That's one thing you will find there...people there to lift you up. And the most amazing part, it seems as though every person we have talked to has had an incredible amount of faith.

Mays Clinic

Today we're at the Mays Clinic at MD Anderson. It's really no different from the main building...just newer. You have to take a sky bridge across in a little golf cart like trolley thing. You could walk it and matter of fact, when it was first built Wade and I thought we could walk it no problem. It was a lot longer than you'd think. One night Wade and his mom were here late and the carts were closed. Therefore they had to walk. Nice!! It would be a nice place to walk for those of you who choose to walk during your lunch break.

Anyway, this building has 2 floor for patients doing chemo. It's just like a hospital room...bed and all. It is also the place where many breast cancer patients come. Today was the first time I had been to the place where you give blood. It was much nicer and calmer. That is one thing they strive for here...some type of peace and tranquility with dim lights and comfy chairs (though I think they took all the comfy chairs for the waiting rooms and left horrible chairs in the rooms...but not complaining). So there are many more women in this building. They are all so very different. Some with beautiful wigs, hats, bandannas and even some that shield their entire bodies because of religious beliefs or customs. So, so many women and again all so different. Many come with girlfriends, sisters and the ones you see the most are their husbands. It always makes me sad. More today than ever. Something about today just got me going. I kept tearing up and thinking about what their stories must be. I can only imagine. Some are wore down. Others appear upbeat. One man was talking to a doctor when his wife walked out visibly upset. She had been crying. Makes me wonder if she just got some bad news.

It just plain sucks to see all of these people struggling to live. Where all of these people can seem so different in so many ways, they are are similar and all here for the same reason. To live. And the sisters, daughters, friends, husbands, and wives...they're living it too. They are the cheerleaders and support group who fight to stay upbeat and optimistic with a constant smile on the face no matter what. I just can't help but always wonder the story for all. I can't help but cry inside when I see babies fighting for life. I can't help but feel pain for all of the people who limp in pain, who carry an oxygen tank for breath and who fight for all they have. I can't help but smile at each one that passes me or sits next to me. I can't help but think these people, including my husband, are the strongest people I know. They are my heroes in so many ways. Heroes I don't even know.