Long Time Coming

So I keep putting off the inevitable. It's been several months since I've written. Up until mid July, we were having a great time. Reagan celebrated her 4th birthday and we were enjoying spending quality family time together. At the end of June, Wade went to the doctor for his usual 2 month appointment. When he went, they found the tumors had grown a bit. He had to make the decision to either do a chemo in the form of a pill or some other clinical trial. Unfortunately, they are unable to do any type of surgery to remove the tumors because of their location. They are all wrapped up in blood vessels and are very close to his heart. Okay, no big deal. He will do some more chemo and shrink those bad boys and we will move on as we always have. Wade decides to put off starting the chemo until after his birthday. We went to the beach on 4th of July weekend and spent time with my brother's family who came in for the weekend. We had a blast!

July 13th...Wade goes in because he's coughing up some blood. We don't really think to much about it. They go in to try to cauterize what's bleeding, but they were unsuccessful. Still not thinking too much about it. They tell us they are going to try another procedure that is a bit riskier. We're optimistic and are up for anything. However, Wade was running a fever but was no longer coughing up blood. They decided the risks of doing the procedure were too great so we'd wait it out. That afternoon, we're happy the bleeding has stopped and we're looking forward to hopefully going home. However, the news we've dreaded for nine years. I will never ever forget it. Three people walk in...they have a funny look on their faces. Now, think, we're sitting back relaxing, relieved he didn't have to have the "risky" procedure. Then the news..."it's about time to start getting things in order." What does that even mean?!?! It didn't even seem real. They went on and on for what seemed like an eternity. All I could think was "This is it. How can I live without him. The kids. Oh the kids. How will they ever understand? How will we explain it to them?" A million things are running through my head. I'm no longer hearing the babble coming from these people. I no longer hear that it's time to research Hospice, ways to talk to your kids about death, signing a DNR, getting papers in order...no more! All I could do was tell Wade over and over and over how much I loved him. I didn't want to leave his side. It was like a crazy dream that I couldn't wake up from.

Then all the phone calls. Reagan was at her summer princess camp for dance...in the middle of her performance when I hysterically called my dad. I'm sure he will never forget the call. I just wanted to have the kids with us. From what they were telling us, it could be minutes, days, months...we had no idea. All we knew, was our time was limited. We have so much to do...how will we fit a lifetime of memories, what should be years and years, into a short time?

We discuss Disneyland. Too scared of the newness and worried about what could happen...we decide it's too far. So we decide on a beach house. Had we known how well Wade would be doing right now, we would have waited just a bit to where he could have really enjoyed it. Our house was wonderful. I was baptized in the Gulf of Mexico. It was great. Wade just didn't feel good though. We even had a scare one of the last nights we were there and we rushed (literally 100 mph) to the hospital in fear that he was having a heart attack. It was just a scare.

The people...oh my the people and how blessed we are. My school, family, friends and even strangers. People from all over praying and giving. My school provided us with so much food, activities, money so that we wouldn't have to worry about a thing. Reagan's dance studio donated for months. I don't even know how to explain how thankful we are to all the people who have supported us. The benefit we had in October...WOW! We saw people we had not seen in many years come to support us. We had people donate so many great items. Sundance Head and Await the Day played beautifully! I just can't explain in words how amazing that day was for us. It wasn't even about the money at that point. We were just in awe of the many blessings surrounding us. And to Wade's "sister" Brandi, which by the way is not is sister and is not even related to us, without her, the benefit would have never happened. She worked endlessly for months on this. We love you Brandi!

And now here we are. The doctors never gave us a timeline. The day they were going to, the kids walked in to the hospital room and the conversation was never completed. For that I am thankful. It's not in our time, it's in HIS time! I remember sitting in the hospital room thinking, "Please God, let him be there for Kaden's first day of kindergarten." Prayer answered. "Please God, let him see Kaden's first T-ball game." Prayer answered. "Please God, let him be here for Kaden's 6th birthday". Prayer answered. God is truly amazing. We've had a few scares here and there. A few times of chest pain, fever, coughing up blood. But we're taking it a day at a time. Wade has a harder time breathing since he has one lung 100% blocked. Mornings are extremely difficult for him and it's so hard to listen to him struggle. I always fear the cough. I even shudder when I hear strangers cough in the store. I'm so used to worrying about that dang cough.

Things are difficult without a doubt. I worry more than I should but I try to put a lot in the back of my mind. It still sort of feels like I dream. It just doesn't seem real. This time of year is especially hard for me. However, we're going to enjoy it like we always do and continue our traditions as always if not do a little more and appreciate it even more.

I know one thing is for sure, you can never tell somebody you love them enough. You can never hug them long enough and you can never smile enough together. I am thankful for the amazing man that has and continues to fight an amazing battle. Not many people have what we have and I'm thankful everyday to God for sending me Wade. I can't imagine life without him.

I promise to try to stay more up to date. I wasn't sure if I'd ever finish this blog. I started the first part of it in September. The hard part is over! More to come...(by the way, it's late and I'm so proud for just finishing this. Please overlook errors!).

Eagles!

In love with, and possibly obsessed with http://www.raptorresource.org/falcon_cams/index.html. We've been watching in our classroom since the eggs were laid. We were hoping to see the first egg hatch today, but all we saw was a pip, or a little crack in the egg.


Hoping to see at least one little eaglet tomorrow!

Checking In

Things are moving along here in the Baker household. I can't believe it's already March. Where in the world does the time go? It was just Christmas people!!!

Wade finished chemo last week but he's had a very hard time getting over it this time. He had to have a platelet transfusion last night. He's VERY tired and just not himself.

The week after next is Spring Break. It's a break we all need. Unfortunately, we've been so sick around here. The kids were sick off and on for two weeks and I was too. Then Wade catches whatever we all had the week he did chemo. Not only were we sick, but our babysitter was too. The negative to having an in-home day care is that when they're sick, we have to find other arrangements. The other arrangements happened to be me taking off. During the month of February, I took off six days...SIX DAYS!!!! That is way too much!!! I'm ready for a fresh health streak!! We are all in need.

I promise to at least try to keep up with this...I just get so busy that I don't have time to write. We will see...

Happy New Year

So I know it's a little late, but HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's been a great start so far and we're looking forward to what this year has to bring us. Wade did more chemo on Monday and he's just now starting to feel a little better. We're all starting to get back in our routine (which is SUPER hard). I could totally get used to staying home with the kids.

Here's to a great, happy year full of many blessings.

Awesome News

Wade went to the doctor today and he got GREAT news! All of the tumors have shrunk "considerably"!!! When the doctor was talking about the two blood transfusions he had to have, she said she was shocked that was his first time ever and that he was the only patient of hers that has ever gone so long without ever receiving one!! Pretty awesome. He will start more chemo January 3rd in order to keep attacking the tumors. This is awesome news.

We had a great Christmas! It's a CRAZY couple of days, but it's all worth it!

We start Christmas Eve morning at Cracker Barrel.


That night we go to Wade's Aunt's house in New Waverly.



Kaden and Reagan in their matching pajamas.

The kids went outside to hear/see Santa. Reagan was soooo scared!!!





This is the first time that I've ever had Christmas away from my own house (well, the kids too!). It was a little hard, but it turned out great.






Christmas Day we go to Granny's house...





...and then back to Wade's mom's house.
(I didn't have good pictures here...they were all blurry!) :(
However, here's a cute picture of Reagan all wrapped up! The best gift EVER!



Let's not forget my mom and dad's. We did that Sunday after Christmas. It's too bad I don't have pictures from Gran's Christmas (which was on our anniversary and the week before Christmas!).






We played our new game...LCR. It's so much fun...as you can see! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LCR_%28dice_game%29

Merry Christmas

Last night we went to Santa's Wonderland. We debated about going this year, but I'm so glad we decided to go. This was the third time we've gone and it definitely won't be the last. It will be something that we will make a tradition and do every year. The kids had a blast. I hope y'all have a very Merry Christmas!

Christmas Time

I love this time of year! It's the best! The lights, trees, smells, cold weather...wait a minute...HOT weather! What is up with this hot weather?!?! It can really get somebody out of the Christmas spirit. But that's okay. As long as it is cool on Christmas Eve and Christmas, it will be just fine. More than anything, I love spending time with my family. I couldn't be more blessed. This will be the most magical Christmas yet, thanks to the amazing people that I work with!! I can't wait to see the looks on the kids' faces when they wake up Christmas morning. Several weeks ago, we rode The Polar Express in Palestine. It was so cool! I have some really good pictures from this. My grandmother bought our entire family tickets to go. She even got the kids matching pajamas. I believe she initially thought it was called The Polar Bear Express hence the polar bear pajamas. Either way, they were all super cute! The only negative thing about the trip was the thousands of bees! One even flew inside Reagan's pajamas and stung her! It's a pitiful face, but a cute one!!! After the train ride, the city of Palestine had their Christmas parade so we made our way down there. It was soooo cold!!! The weather was perfect!

And one more cute Christmas story. Santa Claus called the kids one night! They were soooo excited. http://www.sendacallfromsanta.com/ Santa makes each call personal by calling them by their names, saying where they're from, and calling them a nickname (plus more). Mommy Santa made the mistake by calling Kaden first and not Reagan. Just watch the video...it shows why this was a mistake!!!




Our Christmas shopping is complete. Oh, and by the way, please make sure you always check the handles of your car doors before you open them. Unfortunately, when Wade and I were leaving Walmart last night around midnight, I went to open my door and I felt something mushy on my hand. When I looked down, my hand was covered in POOP! Yes people, POOP!!! I was so disgusted! I cursed a little, gagged a lot and then we EVENTUALLY laughed it off. It's all we could do! I did go in and wash my hands ...for about 10 minutes straight. When I came back out to the car, we noticed the two cars parked next to ours had it on their doors too! Who does this!?!?! I began to leave a note on one of the cars when the guy was on his way out and we just explained to him what happened. The girl parked next to us also came out so we were able to tell her too...before either of them would get a hand full of poo. I went in to complain to the security guard (who was inside sitting instead of monitoring the parking lot). He pretty much just laughed and then went to his little corner away from the store to smoke a cigarette! Come on now...do your job! I was parked two parking spaces away from the store. How hard is it to do your job?!?! So anyways, silly me, when I went to get back in the car, I opened my door again to get ANOTHER hand full of poo! Back in the store I went to clean my hands!!!! Not so happy at this point. I've called, but was unable to get the response that I was wanting. According to the manager, my car was not vandalized or broken into, it just had poop on the door handle! Nice! Okay, so back to the jolly, happy Christmas times stories. Only 4 more days until Christmas! Woo Hoo! Wishing you all a VERY blessed Christmas with your family and friends!